I thought a friend of mine's post on living in community was really good... so here it is for you to read:
"So, I have to say that I have always said that I want to be in community. I want the love, the growth, the depth, and the authentic relationships that come with this type of Life-doing. I would also say that I have truly opened myself up to this type of community with my closest friends, but something happened tonight that I have to say stopped me in my tracks. I was pushed. My thoughts were challenged. I was pressed to be real and honest and it was....uncomfortable, hard, and maybe even frustrating. I struggled and groaned at the thought of how to answer, much less give the answer that I knew was right. I was trying to ask for the check so to speak....OK I know that we are friends, but there are certain things that you just don't press on...What you are asking me is hard and I am not sure what to say. Now, most friends would have left the awkwardness, the uncomfortable situation and just turned the other way...but not these friends, and guess why. They truly care for me and we exist together in true community. I experienced tonight true friendship where I was challenged in love without judgment. I am sure that this is what Christ meant when He said, As iron sharpens iron... I felt sharpened tonight and not to say that it felt good and comfortable the whole time. But, I am growing because of it. Thank you my friends, I love that we are in community together and pray that the Lord keeps us on the same journey for long time."
By Wini Erb
Are you living in community where you can be "pushed?"
Friday, February 22, 2008
Authentic Living in Community
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2 comments:
Comment from Rhonda emailed to me to post (it didn't work for her):
Hey, Chris! Been enjoying reading your blog over the past few weeks. As for you comments on life-doing community, I often pray for that. I believe I most often experience friends who leave "the awkwardness, the uncomfortable situation and just turned the other way". Maybe there's something I do... or who I am... that says they can't be real, yet I don't think so because I don't see it happening in the other relationships around me. Maybe I'm wrong... and am open to your comments. :-) Actually, I think I am most challenged to authenticity by some of the folks in our cohort. Maybe it's the counselor nature in us.
Recently I asked two people I am close to why they never challenged me on my weight. Yeah, I know, is there really a good way to do that? But, it was quite obvious at 283lbs that I needed to lose. It was becoming a serious health issue. Sure, I probably would have not made immediate changes at their questions, but I do know they care about me and maybe it would have prompted action sooner... who knows? My point is that sometimes there are glaring issues in our lives and if our friends do not question or challenge us, who will? And no, I'm not passing the blame to someone else for my lifestyle choices. I'm just suggesting (in agreement with your blog) that a community of truth, love, and sharpening is blessed place to be if you can folks who want that type of relationship in their lives.
Just some rambling thoughts...
Rhonda
Rhonda,
Excellent points you made! Our longings for close community, even when it pushes us, as well as the confusion surrounding how people respond or don't, could be a dissertation! It's such a mystery!
Some of it I think is cultural... I don't think all cultures struggle the way we do... some better, some worse. The fear of vulnerability is huge in the USA. Our history is one of independence and the showing of strength. Exposing ourselves feels very scary. More recently, our culture fears being insensitive, intolerant, or politically incorrect. This may be why friends never said anything to you about your weight. I'm reading a book called "Women and Relationships" for my diss. that is really opening my eyes re: cultural constraints! It's entrenched in our culture starting from childhood and cause the loss of close relationships! Ugh!
Blessings,
Chris
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