Life & Death

Often I'm asked, "How do you listen to people's problems all day?" That question is fairly easy to answer. Yes, I do have to hear people's problems, but I also get to see them get better and improve their lives, their relationships, etc. Seeing people grow and heal is a very fulfilling thing.
Then, there are those cases where the person really does not improve... and sometimes, the person commits suicide or dies from an drug overdose. In most cases, the person is no longer under my care when it happens. I find out of a person's passing from a family member or through the grapevine . When I get the news, it always stops me in my tracks and causes me to go through several days of feeling melancholy.
Everyone in relationship feels a deep sadness over the loss, but I think a therapist feels it in a unique way, knowing that the individual came to them seeking help, and somehow, what was said and done by the therapist, was not... in some way... enough to stop the slide to destruction. Now, I know my powers are limited and that I'm not a savior... I don't have a messiah complex. But nevertheless, I had a chance to help them and for whatever reason, it did not save the person's life. I'm sure a surgeon feels the same way. He or she knows their powers are limited, but it sure is awful when a person dies on the table. I lost one recently, and it feels awful.
Though I feel melancholy, I also feel something more strongly... a deep appreciation of life. I find myself paying attention to the small things in life, the warmth of the sun, the laugh of a child, and the hug from a loved one. As Chris Rice sings, "Life is precious, life is sweet..." and again, "Teach us to count the days, teach us to make the days count, lead us in better ways, somehow our soul has forgot, life means so much..."
If you're living life on the edge, too close to death, I pray you will realize how precious this life is and do whatever you need to do to stop your destructive behaviors. If you're fine overall, remember to make the days count. You never know when the hourglass sand will run dry.

Just some thoughts from a therapist...